Acting-Not-Very-Cordial: Talking Vikings vs. Packers Playoffs with Total Packers

Written by PJD on .

Vikings Packers hate

Ever tried talking to a Green Bay Packer fan and then realized that you would much rather get eaten by a zombie, pretty much any day of other week? That's what it was like going back and forth with these trash bag Wisconsin football fans over at Total Packers. But I did it for YOU, reader, so you wouldn't have to interact with these rabies babies but could still get a hilarious preview into their muddled thoughts as Packer fans heading into Saturday's game. 

As is, welcome to another edition of Acting Not-Very-Cordial, where we ask a bunch of questions of the upcoming opponent's fans and hear their stupid responses on why they think they'll win. This week is no different, because we're lambasting these cheese doodlers and get to hear their make-believe stories about why they think they're so superior, despite having only won a single game more than the Vikings this season. It should be fun. Make sure to run over to their site as well to check out the Q&A I did for them, and then leave a bunch of comments about how much you hate their face. It should end pretty well. 

The questions and answers, meat and potatoes, breasts and legs, after the jump:

Mike McCarthy Derp

Purple Jesus Diaries: So it sounds like Mike McCarthy just spent this entire week trying to convince himself that Adrian Peterson's success of 400+ yards against the Packers this year was because of "poor gap assignment," and he thinks the Lambeau "home field advantage" of losing 4 of their last 6 games in the playoffs at Lambeau. Tell me, why does this triple chinned cunt think Lawrence Taylor is now playing for his team simply because they will be in Wisconsin, and that being at home means they get 12 men on the field? Because they don't. And he's stupid.

 
Total Packers: Well, McCarthy is a buffoon sometimes. He reminds me a lot of Brad Childress. Chilly! Whatever happened to that guy? He was a laugh a minute. But yeah, you're right. The Packers defense can't tackle anyone. If I had my way, A.J. Hawk would be dragged out behind a barn and shot like Old Yeller. Peterson will probably run for 400 yards on Saturday, but the Packers will still win. The sun only shines on a dog's ass once in a while. It shined on Christian Ponder last Sunday and we all know that won't be happening again for a while. 
 
PJD: But really, Adrian Peterson owns the Packers like Thomas Jefferson owned slaves. What feeble attempts is the Packers defense going to try and attempt this week to "slow him down" by maybe only allowing 190 yards this time? Charles Woodson? Oh no!
 
TP: Charles Woodson's return will help. Peterson had the majority of his success running right last week -- that's the stellar group of M.D. Jennings, Hawk, Tramon Williams, and either Erik Walden or Dezman Moses. Woodson will take Jennings' spot in the lineup. The funny thing to me is, Peterson ran for 400-plus and the Vikings won only one of those games. The game they won, they only won by three. A team that was worth a shit would have put two blowouts under their belt if their best player had that type of performance. So what are we going to do to stop Peterson? Who gives a shit? We don't have to stop him to win.
 
Jared Allen Sacks Rodgers
 
PJD: How excited are you to see Jared Allen hog tie that whiny bitch Rodgers on the Lambeau turf Saturday night after Rodgers goes down more times than a Wisconsin mother looking for a Leinekugels? I'm really excited! Also excited for Everson Griffen to continue punching your stupid, makeshift offensive line in the proverbial face all game long, because they suck. 
 
TP: Let's see, a dumb hillbilly with a mullet who pretends he's tying up animals when he makes a play and a guy who once got arrested twice in three days. It must be tough living up to the lofty standards of being a Minnesota Viking. 
 
PJD: OK, serious question ... In 2012, why do Packer fans think their team in monumentally better than the Vikings? Is 11-5 REALLY that much better than 10-6? It just looks like one game better, to me. But if you talk to a Packers fan, they make it sound like their defense is the '85 Bears, and that on offense you have BOTH Aaron Rodgers and Joe Montana back there throwing passes to Greg Jennings and Jerry Rice. First, I don't think that's temporally possible, but second, the team really just isn't that good. So where is this false and hilarious bravado coming from?
 
TP: The Packers defense is vastly improved from the abomination it was last year, up from last to 11th in yards allowed. The offense can obviously still put up points. People feel the Packers are a legitimate Super Bowl contender. Is anyone calling the Vikings a legit Super Bowl contender? That's the difference. Are the Packers that much better than the Vikings? No. I wouldn't make the argument that any one team in the playoffs is that much better than any other team that made the playoffs -- they're all good. That being said, the Packers are better than the Vikings like the Broncos are better than the Bengals. They're certainly a more well-rounded team.
 
Brian Robison Nut Shot
 
PJD: Finally, will Clay Matthews take more human growth hormones to get through the game Saturday night? Will Aaron Rodgers kiss his male roommate on the lips softly before leaving their apartment for the stadium? Will Jordy Nelson ever stop being so white? Will BJ Raji continue to wag his finger after he tackles Peterson for a 37 yard gain? What are your delusional predictions for the game. And please, give me a resounding "Go, Pack, Go!" because that sounds so very confident. Assholes.
 
TP: I really don't care what any of those guys do in their free time as long as we beat the scumbag Vikings and we don't have to listen to idiot Vikings fans for another week. I mean, really. Do you even listen to yourselves? You talk just to say something. You're like a six-year-old child who's just shit his pants and is proud of it. "Hey, mommy, look what I did!" as you pull a hand full of crap from your drawers. Well, get ready to stop celebrating and go back to beating your wives. Peterson can and probably will run all over the Packers defense, but Ponder isn't having another game like he did last week. And that's okay, because you're used to watching other teams in the playoffs. 
 
Packers 28, Vikings 17
 
-----
 
Thanks? I guess? To Total Packers for doing this again. Hopefully the results are as hilarious as the last couple of times we had our back and forth. I know the reader's here are always good for giving them some shit, so let it rip, people, and let's stomp some smelly ass on Saturday night. 


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37 comments
PJD
PJD moderator

Dear @biqueens2013 , please come back and tell me how great your defense is, and how Aaron Rodgers is the best QB ever. I'll hang up and listen, whenever you get done beating your wife (ie, goat).

biqueens2013
biqueens2013

How did Peterson do trying to get all-time rushing yards record???

 

That's right, the little fucking turd nugget came up short, just like every other Viking and Viking fan does in life!!!

 

GO PACK GO.  GO PACK GO. GO PACK GO.

 

This is the best website I have ever been on.  Just discovered it today.  Gonna be on here a lot more unless pussy Vikes guy kicks me off.  LOL

jimm14j
jimm14j like.author.displayName 1 Like

@biqueens2013 You are certainly welcome to post on here all you want. That way when someone wants to see what an ignorant, childish, dooshbag fan looks like, they can see you. You are truly an embarassment to whoever you support. That's a character flaw, your flaw.

biqueens2013
biqueens2013

@jimm14j and you can't even figure out who I support??? Wow!!!!

jimm14j
jimm14j like.author.displayName 1 Like

@biqueens2013 every post you make just proves my point more. Way to go. Keep posting, champ.

biqueens2013
biqueens2013

@jimm14j learn how to spell douche bag your unintelligent douche bag.

biqueens2013
biqueens2013

@jimm14j are you kidding me you douche bag. Have u ever read any of the shit that is put in this website about the packers and their fans and you say "I" have a character flaw. Boy you are one blind ignorant dumbfuck.

biqueens2013
biqueens2013

@jimm14j are you kidding me you douche bag. Have u ever read any of the shit that is put in this website about the packers and their fans and you say "I" have a character flaw. Boy you are one blind ignorant dumbfuck

CollegeWolf
CollegeWolf

 @biqueens2013 Who is Green Bay's top RB? Seriously, who?

biqueens2013
biqueens2013

 @CollegeWolf

 Not sure this week.  We have a couple options out there to choose from.

 

Who is going to be your starting RB this week??  Oooooppppsss that's right nobody as your purple pecker eaters are at home watching the real teams this week!!!!

 

GO PACK GO!!!!!!

CollegeWolf
CollegeWolf

 @biqueens2013 What's the "superbowl" that you speak of? Sorry man, but this is just too easy........

biqueens2013
biqueens2013

Referring to playoffs as overrated! Wow!! How do u think u get to a superbowl einstein???

biqueens2013
biqueens2013

@CollegeWolf Did u just truly type that??? Enough said. You just said it all. Lol

peterandkelsey
peterandkelsey

@biqueens2013 @PJD @CollegeWolf Pretty amazing vibrator if he's posting comments here... You think it's got WiFi?

CollegeWolf
CollegeWolf

@biqueens2013 @PJD I actually own 3. Two of which are double-sided.

CollegeWolf
CollegeWolf like.author.displayName 1 Like

@biqueens2013 The playoffs are overrated. Only one team can win the Superbowl each year, so why bother with playoffs every year?

biqueens2013
biqueens2013

 @CollegeWolf

 Hey college turtle, I am going to borrow a line from a great movie here.

 

"Just when I thought you couldnt get any dumber"

 

Yeah its great not to be in the playoffs so Peterson can be all rested up for next years failure.   That is the most retarded statement I think could have been made.  But I understand you guys are not used to being in the playoffs so that is normal for you.  What a dipshit.

CollegeWolf
CollegeWolf like.author.displayName 1 Like

 @biqueens2013 Not playing this week means less wear and tear on MVPeterson's body... so that he can more easily rush for 3,800 yards next year. But *only* 630 against the Packers though.)

PurplePeckerHeads
PurplePeckerHeads

Oh we wish for the days of Pudd Grunt and the 4 super bowl losses.  Never forget Packers have 4 superbowl wins. 

 

Purple Pricks are home on the sofa again. Maybe you can get a few of your old timers names printed on the ass-wipe in the women’s bathroom at Canton, OH. The owner of the ViQueens should just move the team out of that God forsaken land of Hormel Chile eating pig F'ers.

 

God it was good to kick your ass.

jimm14j
jimm14j like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

@PurplePeckerHeads. I see what's happening here. You're still mad because your mom bangs anything wearing a Minnesota Jersey. Too bad, get over it. Packers have 4 super bowl rings, NONE of which YOU played for, and none beating the Vikes. In fact, packers just got to . 500 in playoffs against them. Packers- 4 sb rings. Amount of class with fans like you- ZERO. I really feel bad for you, having to look in your mirror every morning and only seeing..... you looking back. Poor fella.

Qommie
Qommie

Just to touch on Vikings fans beating their wives:

 

Domestic Abuse Arrest Follows Packers Loss http://www.nbc15.com/news/headlines/81138332.html

Packers loss blamed in child abuse case http://www.fox11online.com/dpp/news/local/fox_cities/upset-packers-fan-accused-of-attacking-daughter

Packers fan, upset by loss to Vikings, stabs Seahawks fan http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2009/10/08/packer-fan-stabbing/

 

I was unable to find any official statistics from PETA on domestic assaults in Wisconsin following a loss.

Hammy1724
Hammy1724 like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 4 Like

Yards Allowed?  They go with Yards fucking Allowed to make their argument?  OK quick... name the three teams ahead and the three teams behind the Pack in Yards fucking Allowed... give up????

Ahead: Jets, San Diego, Carolina

Behind:  Arizona, Detroit, St. Louis.

Dafuqouttahere with Yards Allowed!!!  QB and WR - the ONLY players on the roster that I'd give the edge (and a fucking big one at that... I'm not a fool) to on the Pack over the Vikes.  Fuck Matthews, he's a Depends wearing one-dimensional player.  Woodson was great two years ago, but he's older than dirt and hasn't been a game changer at all this year.  Raji?  Please.  I'll put ANY of our interior DL's against him.  Otherwise, these paint huffers are hallucinating if they think their team is any better - WIN OR LOSE THIS SUNDAY.

BonK
BonK like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

This was nice.  Packer fans are the grossest.

CollegeWolf
CollegeWolf like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

I don't know if we'll win or not, but MVPeterson will have damn nigh 600 yards and we sure as hell will cover the 9 point spread.

PJD
PJD moderator like.author.displayName 1 Like

 @CollegeWolf Definitely.

 

Good trolling over on that site. Those feed bags can't take a damn joke. Nerds.

Purple Jesus Diaries
Purple Jesus Diaries

I haven't seen them put the link up yet. I'll add it to the article and on FB when I find it.

Rob Hernandez
Rob Hernandez

Dude was really reaching hard for his shit talk. Fucking pray the fudgepackers get beat if not just for all the bitching crying and excuses that will be made

Alexis Dawn
Alexis Dawn

Does anybody have the link to the PJD Q&A on TotalPackers.com?

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