Oh, hey. What's up guys? What me to ruin your day? According to a website called "Spotrac" which tracks salaries in a variety of ways for all of the major American sports, here is a list of the highest, base salary paid, wide receivers in the NFL in 2012:
- Vincent Jackson (Tampa Bay, $11,000,000)
- Dwayne Bowe (Chiefs, $9,515,000)
- Wes Welker (Patriots, $9,515,000)
- Brandon Marshall (Bears, $9,300,00)
- Santonio Holmes (Jets, $7,750,000)
- Sidney Rice (Seahawks, $7,000,000)
- Anquan Boldin (Ravens, $6,000,000)
- Roddy White (Falcons, $5,500,000)
- Darius Heyward-Bey (Raiders, $5,279,000)
- Larry Fitzgerald (Cardinals, $5,000,000)
Pretty funny stuff, right? I mean look at that list. Is that the amount of money these guys are paid to NOT perform each week?! Because that would make more sense, amirite?! Jokes, bros, jokes!
Oh, the other thing ... In Percy Harvin, the Vikings have a receiver who is DIAPER LOADS better than at least two thirds of these guys, and he is nowhere on the list.
In fact, if I did a top 35 or something, he'd still probably not be on this list. Arguably the best receiver in the NFL in receiving a base salary in 2012 of $915,000. ..... Nine hundred and fifteen thousand dollars. Now, that's a whole lot of money. I could buy, like, 13 dozen Thai lady boys for that amount. Rusty Trombones for all of us! But it's silly that this is the amount someone as ridiculous as Harvin is getting paid. Remember Michael Jenkins? Yeah, he had a touchdown last week. In a losing effort. His base salary in 2012 is $2,500,000. THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.
Now, this "research" could certainly benefit from some fact checking. I only looked at one website because it helps make my argument that Percy Harvin needs to be paid more money look better. DUH. But this Spotrac website also says that Calvin Johnson is only due $1,250,000. That may *technically* be correct, but he DOES have a cap hit this year (according to the same site, go, play around, you'll see) of $11,531,946. That's .... quite a different amount. I'm not cap expert, so I can't explain how this all works, and frankly it doesn't matter. When I look at the top 10 cap hits of NFL receivers in 2012, I still don't see Percy Harvin anywhere, and instead see Darius Heyward-Bey and Vincent Jackson. I mean, get out of here with that shit. Honestly.
The point remains though. According to another garbage website I get to use to support my argument, Percy Harvin is rated as the 4th best receiver in the NFL in 2012 (by the strictest of numbers, I suppose), behind only Reggie Wayne (?), AJ Green (what?), and Brandon Marshall (Huh?). Some numbers (like these) are kind of dumb though, while other numbers (like Percy's career and season stats, below) ARE AWESOME:
The dude is only leading the league in receptions this year, is on pace for 1,000 yards, averages over 8 receptions a game, runs the ball as well as our starting running back, and, oh, ONLY AVERAGES ALMOST 40 YARDS PER KICK RETURN. This guy is like Michael Vick from 2006 Madden come to life. And he wears purple.
AND HE IS MAKING $915,000 THIS SEASON.
Pay the man. My god, people, pay the man. Or there will be blood. And weed smoke. But mostly weed smoke.
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He is so woefully and pathetically underpaid that I can't even think of a witty joke. I wouldn't blame Percy if he goes American Physco on some front office biotches.