That's actually Peppermint Patty's description of Charlie Brown as she invites Marcie and Franklin to join her as she crashes his Thanksgiving dinner.  Honestly, I couldn't think of a good title for this installment that included the name "Chuck" in the title.  So much has happened in the two months since we last spoke.  This time, however, I've got a good reason.  I have been feverishly trying to finish the second half of my book, Drunk On Sunday.  It's not exactly Justice Is Coming: The Book, but has some football stories in there.  Let's just say its a fictional memoir with the Charger fanaticism being a metaphor for a lifetime of doing things the only way I know how.

But attempting to finish my first manuscript doesn't mean that I don't have time for the Bolts.  As I've said so often, I would have ditched them long ago if I had the power to.  But despite all the heartbreak, we're stuck this team.  I am, however, taking a "leave of absence" from Bleacher Report.  Editors I worked with there were very supportive, but I won't miss the assanine comments.  When all the articles you are asked to write are lists, you have to prioritize.  I get more than a little sick of reading "how could you ignore this" or "why didn't you mention that."  I think many of those fans confuse including embedded Tweets and videos for having the answer to this most maddening of teams.  I have never claimed to be an expert on tech talk about the action on the field.  I've only ever presented myself as a fan who has some ability to observe, recall and share. 

Anyway, I was really saddened to hear about Chuck Muncie's heart attack yesterday.  I first saw it on the Chargers' "Google Group."  I hoped it wasn't true since I didn't see the news posted anywhere else at 7AM when I turned my computer on.  Beyond the deaths of so many players from our most successful squad to date, it really seems like more tragedy follows this team than many others.  Muncie's battles with narcotics are well documented.  As a kid, I never really questioned what the tape on the bridge of his nose was for.  Breathe Right strips were years away and it looked more like electrical tape than anything else.

I was more than a little upset to see the Saints post the news on their site long before the Chargers did on theirs.  The Bolts have never been particularly good at embracing their alumni.  Jim Steeg did a nice job of keeping that up, but it's been a problem dating back to the Gene Klein years.  Incidentally, you should definitely pick up a copy of his book if you've never read it.  It's got some great stories about the era that hooked so many of us on this godforsaken team.

After the Chargers posted a statement about Muncie's passing on their website, the news came out that Melvin Ingram had torn his ACL and was out for the year.  Sadly, Ingram wasn't even good enough last sesaon for me to get that broken up about it.  Obviously, he looked great over the summer.  But his late hit in New Orleans seemed to derail him for the rest of the season.  It's not quite as bad as JR Smith's inability to make shots after he got suspended (dubiously) and then boasted that he could have helped sweep Boston (stupid because he didn't back it up).  Dwight Freeney is now apparently in the mix.  Obviously, Tom Telesco is quite familiar with him from his previous post in Indy.  The signing today of Keiser from Carolina is supposed to have no bearing on a possible Freeney deal.  But Freeney is far from a panacea at this point.  Had he been healthy in the Super Bowl, the Colts might have kept Drew Brees from getting a ring.  I guess I'm just worried about another Bob Sanders situation.  However, as I am about to post this, I see that the Chargers have signed Thomas Keiser.  Who?  Exactly.  It now seems to be well known that AJ left this team in salary cap hell.  Was this all due to his last-ditch attempt to make a "splash" in free agency?  Are Meachem, Johnson, Gaither, McClain and Royal still holding us back that much?  Did everyone know the long-term effects last year when AJ let Vincent Jackson go and signed all these guys with the money?  I saw on today's SI that Jackson is the 15th highest paid-player in terms of endorsements, however it says it is still "unclear" whether we made the right decision in letting him go.  I was surprised they didn't rip the Chargers for that move even though it still may have been the right decision.

Every year is the same
And I feel it again,
I'm a loser - no chance to win.
Leaves start falling,
Come down is calling,
Loneliness starts sinking in.

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted.  Those who have been Justice Leaguers for many years know that this is my least favorite time of the year.  The NFL, to their credit, have truly made themselves into a 365 day sport.  For those of us who remember the George Grande era of ESPN, it's fucking mind boggling to think about what the draft has become.  "Free Agent Frenzy," complete with the Office Depot board and movable name plate?  I think this is the first year for that one.  Anyway, the lyrics above are from "I'm One" by the Who.  As Sam and I sat on the floor of the Nassau Coliseum watching Quadrophenia in its entirety, I couldn't help but connect Townshend's words to the feeling of being a Charger fan right now.

At least Norv and AJ are gone.  Clary and Cason will soon follow.  With Kaeding and Castillo unable to hurt us anymore I've run out of my usual targets.  I know, I'm sure new ones will develop.  I know the Chargers don't have much room under the salary cap.  I also know that last year's signings of McClain, Johnson, Royal and Meachem were AJ's high-priced final attempt to keep his job.  I understand the situation that Tom Telesco is in right now.

But it's hard not to feel, as Kyle Broflovski so poignantly expressed many years ago, like a Jew on Christmas.  It's a feeling I know very well.  The Queefs and Bunkos are stocking their shelves for the coming season while we are seemingly at the dollar store.  Of course, every guy getting signed right now was unwanted by his former team.  In each case, there was a reason they were available.

In 1994, Bobby Beathard let Anthony Miller walk and signed a bunch of players with his salary.  Miller wore the same number Wes Welker will wear in Denver and was never heard from again.  The notion that John Elway is going "all in" is as played out as saying that a film or television franchise is undergoing a "reboot."  In 2004, the Chargers let Marcellus Wiley, David Boston and any other high-priced malcontents walk.  Guys like Steve Foley played better than we ever could have imagined and the team won 12 games.  Of course, we know how that season ended.

There was a time where I used to say that the Super Bowl was the greatest day of the year.  But that was before the Chargers started making the playoffs.  Once they did, but were unable to do anything with it, Super Sunday stopped being special.  It became a day that reminded me of everything that the Bolts were lacking. 

Now we’re coming off three straight seasons of not even getting into the playoffs.  I can’t help but think about that Thursday Night game against the Niners in 2010.  Remember when Charger fans booed Vernon Davis because he intimated that he was better than Antonio Gates?  That was also the game where Alex Smith confessed to being a huge fan of the '94 Bolts.  You know, I like Alex Smith and not just because of that admission.  I actually believe that he will continue his improvement.  I don't think that reuniting with Norv in Cleveland will be good for him, but I would actually be a little worried if he ends up in Kansas City.  That's also a reflection of the lack of confidence that I have in our quarterback right now.  It might seem shocking to be singing the praises of Alex Smith while simultaneously worrying about the future of Philip Rivers.  It would have been close to unthinkable in 2010.

I remember Marty Caswell tweeting from the sidelines about what a mess San Fran was that night.  There was a heavy suggestion that Mike Singeltary had no control of his team.  Now look at them.  Maybe we should have paid closer attention to Harbaugh when he was in San Diego.  He played well enough in 1999 that I temporarily forgot about the Wild Card loss to Indy at home.  Who knows what future coaching geniuses are carrying clipboards for the Bolts?  Could Dave Dickenson be next?  If that name means something to you, you're in the right place.

How many times do you think it will be mentioned on Sunday that the Niners were last in the Super Bowl against the Chargers?  How many times do you think we'll have to be reminded that Super Bowl XXIX was won by San Francisco by a score of 49-26?  I bet it will be referenced more than the fact that Carmen Policy make a mockery of the salary cap to assemble that team.  Yeah, I'm still more than a little peeved.  Remember that I had to watch that one in person.

Anyway, I'll talk to you after Sunday.

JIC,
RLW

Wow, there was time when Philip could actually throw on the run--sort of.  This shot is obviously from the 2007 win at Indianapolis.  In many ways, it's the game that ended up leading us where we are right now.  I noticed in the comments from my last post that Daniel Chang thought Norv was being faulted with "breaking Rivers."  Philip mentioned in his interview with Darren Smith that he takes issue with the suggestion that he needs fixing.  However, I think it's pretty accurate.  Like many of the guys being hired right now, Norv was known as a "QB guru."  There is no question whatsover that Rivers has regressed beyond belief over the last two seasons.  I wouldn't roll my eyes so much at the suggestion that it was due to the poor pass protection, lack of a running game and self-induced pressure if he hadn't come off another shitty season in 2011.

But Rivers is our guy and we can only hope that the three-headed monster of Wisenhunt, McCoy and Reich will make the difference.  I don't know if Norval will be a better playcaller in Cleveland and quite frankly I don't give a shit.  I am sure that the players you have impact your performance as a coach and coordinator.  McCoy won't be calling the plays and trying to run the show.  He's already spoken about how he and Tom Telesco have "some tough decisions to make."  There is no question that one way or another the Chargers need to finally establish a run game.  In the end, it won't matter whether Ryan Mathews is too unreliable on the field or simply too injury-prone to be the guy.  No one is expecting Philip Rivers to suddenly start running "the pistol" formation.  But any successful team needs to have some balance.  I've been saying that since 2009.  Was Norv at fault for trying to run LT into the Jets line in the playoff game?  Should Sproles have been used more?  Why did Tomlinson look so rejuvenated after leaving?  Was Brain Schottenheimer simply using his strengths at that stage of his career by using him mostly on 3rd downs? 

I know I haven't made an official post since Norv and AJ were canned on New Year's Eve.  According to NFL Playoff Betting Lines, Denver is favored to win it all.  While they're the only team I don't want to see win the Super Bowl, I can't really get too upset about it.  I wrote a piece over at Bleacher Report on the quandry over how much of an effect a coach can have.  FAITHFUL READERS will be familiar with the lesson on the last ten years of Charger history, since you lived it with me.  I really get the feeling that Spanos will hire a coach somewhere between retread and rock star.  If it's the right guy for the job, I'll be ok with it. 

I guess this part of the aforementioned Bleacher Report piece serves as my official eulogy for Norv:

During his first two seasons as Charger coach, Turner’s teams did seem capable of going to the next level.  While I never thought he was a good coach, I could not argue that the team seemed like it might be finally learning its lesson.  However, its final playoff pratfall changed everything.

LaDainian Tomlinson was let go, but the other parts stayed in place.  That began the regular-season slide that has led us here.  Jon Gruden might be the only guy who would excite the fan base, but can he become the first coach to win a Lombardi Trophy with a second team?

Mind you, I don’t think Gruden will coach anywhere this year.  But I disagree with those who say he simply took Tony Dungy’s team to a championship.  Before Gruden, the Bucs could not get past the Eagles in the playoffs.  After helping them do that, Gruden provided invaluable inside info against his former team in the Super Bowl.

The Chargers might actually find a coach who’s right for the job this time.  Whether they will assemble a team that is up to the challenge is another story.  If history has shown us anything, it’s that the right man needs to find the right team at the right time.

Like you, I roll my eyes at talk of Jim Mora, Lovie Smith or any other guy who got fired from his last job.  But that's happened the best of them.  From what I've seen of the playoffs thus far, the Bolts have a lot of holes to fill before they can seriously make a run.  I was half-joking when I Tweeted that Philip Rivers should wear the gloves full time as Kurt Warner did in Arizona.  He said on the Darren Smith show that he's not entirely sold on wearing them, but that he's considering it.  The only game after Pittsburgh that he didn't wear them was the one he played like shit in against Carolina.  Not surprisingly, that's the one we lost.

The speculation is that Dean Spanos will anounce a new GM by the end of the day.  Kevin Acee is reporting that there are "a lot of moving parts," which means that the hire is contingent on other teams' personnel moves.  When things start to really happen, I'll weigh in.  Talk to you then.

RLW

PS Thanks to the member of the CMB, who's avatar this is.

Might as well end this thing the way it began.  I'll post some photos from my trip to the game last week in the coming weeks.  It's a fucking travesty that a home game against the Traitors on December 30 is meaningless.  But that's what this era of Charger football has done.  I was certainly happier to walk out of the stadium with a win last week than have to listen to what few Jet fans remained grouse about beating us.  But the fact that finally beat them only when it was meaningless was also sadly appropriate.  I'm sure you saw the U-T piece by Acee where Philip finally discussed moving on without Norv.  A greater sense of urgency?  Give me a fucking break.  It was nice that Rivers had the sticker on his truck with  "17-14," the score of the last playoff loss.  But what has he done since then?  I know we don't see eye to eye on the 2010 season.  Rivers' performance was admirable, but he didn't lead us back in any of the games that would have ultimately made the difference.  Sadly, that trend still continues to this day.

This is the third straight season that we've been forced to deal with a meaningless season finale.  In 2010, I planned on not watching at all.  However, I got sucked in and saw Ryan Mathews pile up the yards but fumble the ball.  Last year, I caught the end of the game that Deano used as justification for keeping Norv.  This year, I am going to get an early start on my New Year's, but will surely keep tabs on the score.  I assure you that I will take a look at the taped broadcast before I sit down to write next week.  But I won't let this team suck any more time out of my Sundays until Norval is gone.  But watching Rivers complete fifty percent of his passes, which was less that the Jets' first time starter, wasn't very encouraging.  I thought I had seen everything out of Rivers, but even I wasn't expecting the "self-sack" I saw last Sunday.

The last time I traveled to New Jersey to see the Chargers face the Jets was 1994.  They were playing to clinch the AFC West after being unable to close it out on Monday Night against the Traitors.  I’m sure you remember, FAITHFUL READER.  That was the only time that season that the Bolts lost in the powder blues.  I also went to the games against the Jets in 1990 and 1991, which were blowouts for both teams.  Of course, I also went to the snowball game in 1995 against the Giants and the 2009 comeback game.  That second game sparked what looked like a strong run to the playoffs.  Of course, that’s also what caused Dean Spanos to give Norval his extension.  I’ve mentioned it before, but I’ll never forget listening to Kevin Acee on The Darren Smith show during the Bolts’ bye before their playoff game.  Darren wondered aloud “Now that they’ve signed Norv, what if by some fluke the Chargers choke in the playoffs?”

It’s like that scene in the movie Fanboys about the quest to see the Star Wars prequel.  After the characters finally get to see The Phantom Menace, one of them says “Guys, what if the movie sucks?”

Well, kids, the movie did suck and it hasn’t stopped sucking since.  Each year since we’ve been promised that the problems have been fixed.  We’ve been assured that those responsible have been disposed of.  Steve Crosby and Greg Manusky are gone.  Players who either cost too much to retain, have underperformed or both are no longer with us.  Yet all the principals still remain.

Last year, Antonio Gates said that the Chargers would once again be a “blue collar team?”  Remember that?  Before this season Gates mentioned that the Bolts were now free of prima donnas.  Most people assumed he was talking about Vincent Jackson.  Now the universally accepted explanation for the team’s drop from mediocrity to shittyness is that AJ has let too much talent go.  I know Sproles took a pay cut with the Saints, but Jackson’s contract with the Tampa didn’t seem like something it would have been wise to match.  I Tweeted on the Panthers’ first drive that I hoped Mike Tolbert didn’t do his stupid dance on us and he did it twice.  Then, after the game, he said that he would have been willing to have stayed in San Diego but the team never called his agent back.

What's really left to say about this team?  They're so monotonous that I find myself reusing song titles for names of my posts.  While I am still going to the game next Sunday out in Jersey, I have no desire to see this group do anything but be put out of their misery.  Seriously, Dean Spanos thinks Groupon will help sell tickets to tomorrow's game?  What a shock that the Bolts weren't able to avoid a blackout anyway.  If he'd fire Norv and AJ already, fans would show up to the stadium just to celebrate.  I think we all still enjoy the feeling of community amongst The Legion Of The Lightning Bolt.  However, it would be nice if the only thing that unified all fans was an unspeakable hatred for their owner, general manager and coach.

Once they lost that second Denver game, I stopped truly wanting this team to succeed.  To be honest, it was evident during that game that they really weren't going to do anything this season.  The defense kept them in the game for a while and they couldn't do shit.  Of course, if the defense had been able to make a single stop in the first Denver game or in the fourth quarter in New Orleans the season might have gone differently.  Ryan Mathews' touchdown leap was truly the season's high water mark.  After that, everything went downhill.

I was about to spend this week's post talking about how hopeless being a Charger fan feels right now.  Fucking Nick Lachey is talking shit about us.  As bad as the Bolts are right now, I felt I had to say something to him.  He had Tweeted that he got kicked out of the game on Sunday, but that the Bungles still won.  He said he wouldn't talk trash, however.  I wrote that he shouldn't talk trash because Cincinnati has the same amount of Lombardi Trophies as the Bolts do.  Also, we have Mario Lopez as our former teen idol fan representative.  He's a lot cooler than Nick Lachey.  Did he actually call a Bolthead's wife "a fucking bitch" or choke someone?  It doesn't matter.  However, I can't believe somone was actually wearing the Igor Olshansky jersey in the video.

I was writing during the game that this would be another game the Bolts would lose in the end.  I wish I didn't have to say it, but I wish even more than it wasn't true.  It's not as if they had true control of any other these games they've lost in the second half.  My dad sent me this link to a Wall Street Journal piece calling the Chargers "The Kings Of 45 Minute Football."  That's the only kind of attention this team gets or deserves from the media outside of San Diego.

Of course, there were headlines yesterday about AJ being destined to join Norval on the long walk off the premises at Chargers Park.  I'll be happy when it actually happens.  This is one instance when I actually believe Kevin Acee.  I don't like seeing Dean Spanos having to refute the specifics of the report, however.  I don't want Acee to do anything to fuck this decision up.  But I know it's all a PR game Deano is playing and I do think he'll ax both guys.  I wish he would do it now, rather than wait.  I don't trust him to sit on this decision, but I think it's the only decision that can be made.  That's why I don't feel bad about not feeling bad about the last few losses.  It's the only way Spanos would actually do this.

As for who will join Jimmy Raye and eventually Dean Spanos at the helm, I have no idea.  Gruden would be the splashy hire and I would be happy.  However, I also know as you do that no one has won a Super Bowl with two teams.  The coach from Stanford seems like a good fit, but I know that taking chances isn't Dean's thing.  It's December and this is the time when football games start to really matter.  Yet, the Chargers are already finished.  But this is the inevitable outcome to the Norval Experiment.  On NFL Network, Acee claims that the team will avoid the college route.  Although Andy Reid got Philly to a Super Bowl, I have to also agree that he'd be a little too Norvish for my tastes.

I am still going to the game on December 23, only because my dad and I still have tickets.  At least I know that one of two coaches that have beaten the Chargers will lose that day.  However, I am taking my daughter to a Barbie movie on Sunday.  The film is at 3, and I am sure I will keep tabs on the game before we go.  I will tape it and watch if there is anything worth seeing.  This is what happens when you shit the bed before the snow hits the ground.

Happy Hannukah,

RLW

PS I like the line in the linked NFL.com piece--the housecleaning is coming.  I smell another sticker... 

This was the scene right before kickoff last Sunday.  Remember after "The Indecision," how all the Norv apologists (I'm looking at you, Nick Canepa) said that if the team started winning in the fall that all would be forgiven?  Well, once the Chargers shat the bed in New Orleans there was no chance of that.  When CBS threw that stat on the screen that we hadn't had a rushing touchdown since Week 5, all I could think is "THAT'S ANOTHER THING THAT'S NORV'S FAULT."  I know that the line sucks, that's on AJ.  But Norv hasn't tried to establish run much at all.  If you're pass protection sucks, you roll the quarterback out.  Of course, that would never work for us since Rivers is as mobile as an anvil.  If you can't open up any holes, you at least try to get your back the ball in space.  I don't know why we even bother with the play action since no one in their right mind respects our running game.

When you have had as many bad second halves as this team, you have to look at the lack of adjustments Norval makes.  When Acee was on 1090 on Monday, he was saying that he often vaclillates between blaming Norv and not.  Even if you thought Norv was really a genius (and not a guy whose calls can be predicted by any Charger fan), you would have to support a change just based on the fact that it will be three seasons without reaching the postseason.  Also, the last three seasons have seen the AFC as the far weaker conference.  The AFC West was the worst division in that conference each year.  We couldn't even get in under those circumstances.

AJ shouldn't get to pick the next coach.  He forced Norv on us and I'm sure pushed for him to get that extension after the '09 regular season.  I still remember listening to the Darren Smith show and hearing Darren and Acee wonder aloud what Spanos would do if by some miraculous chance the Chargers imploded again?  They did and they still haven't recovered.  Yet, Norv is still here.

I can't believe that I still have to remind people of how bad Marty was, either.  I never liked Norv, but he won three more playoff games than Schottenheimer.  End of discussion.

When I went on the XX1090 site to grab the link of Acee's interview, I saw that this week's poll asked fans whether they even want the Chargers to make the playoffs this season.  If you answered no, you push the button next to "Change is needed."  If you answered yes, you move your cursor to where it says "I'm a fan no matter what."

What about if you answer to both descriptions?  The Legion Of The Lightning Bolt want change because THEY ARE DIEHARD FANS.  Justice Leaguers know the only way to improve is ax Norval.  AJ shouldn't be allowed to pick another coach at this point.  Acee suggested that we fans don't really give Deano enough credit for having balls or caring about winning.  However, he also admits that there is some creedence to the perception that he is constantly looking for any justification for NOT making a change.  Wow, Kevin, you sound about as definitive as Dean himself.

Remember after Norv and AJ were retained, we were told that AJ was going to be more accessible?  Have you seen that side of him?  Norv's in-game decisions were going to be more carefully scrutinized.  Have you noticed any of that.  There was also speculation that our training and conditioning staff were going to under close watch since we seem to have more injuries than most teams.  How's that working out, Dean?